What does one have to do to get an apartment on East 11th street? Or a brownstone in the West Village? I'm starting to think it's impossible to make it in New York without a humongous endowment or a shiny pair of rich parents. 

I was walking towards Magnolia Bakery with my roommates the other night (the W 11th street location) and was confronted with the most beautiful pieces of real estate I had ever seen. It was dark and quiet out (QUIET??? IN NYC???) First impressions were: a serene residential area, that is hip enough for a young kid, quiet enough for a writer, and beautiful enough for someone with expensive taste.

Some of the brownstones had their lights on inside and when I peered, I fell in love. These apartments have foyers and common areas. I saw a living room with a piano and a cello displayed from the floor-to-ceiling windows.  Red doors with place mats, children's rooms with pastel colored walls, TVs, laundry rooms, breakfast rooms, toy rooms, so many rooms!!!! Spacious and sophisticated flats with chandeliers and carpeted floors. How can this be mine? I want the things, I want all of the things. 

The struggling 20-something is a common character in the City, and I romanticize the heck out of that person. I want to be waiting tables while searching for a good writing gig, going to my friend's concerts at the local bar and thrifting all my clothes. However all those "struggling" twenty something's are still making rent, wearing cute hats and having brunch on Sundays. Which makes me wonder, is it possible to have a subsistence wage (by New York standards) while working a shitty job? Or are all these 'starving artists' actually not hungry at all. I'm sorry but 'broke' is not going to sample sales and paying for a studio in the East Village. 

To me, it seems like you are required to have a trust fund, a loaded savings account or some supportive parents to be a young adult in the City. 

I know I'm not getting the whole picture here, and I'm only talking about the young people who I've been exposed to. I know there are people who are living the actual real struggle in New York, and to those people whatever I am saying here will seem superfluous. I am only speaking to what I feel. 

It's a hard realization knowing that I only have 2 and a half years of college left, and after that my scholarships, student loans, and parental support will all go away. The thought of this terrifies my anxieties, and complicates the dream of being young in the City. 

What comforts me however, is also realizing that I am 19. Who the heck has done anything by 19? And I can give myself enough credit to believe that I haven't wasted these fragile years of my youth.

I have learned (in my whopping 1 month and 2 days of living in New York) that there are ways of living cheaper-ly. I bought used snow boots at Buffalo Exchange, my friend is cutting my hair tomorrow, and I stopped buying my groceries at Whole Foods. (Whoa about $300 were saved in that last sentence!) 

Ultimately, I am an expert on deferring today's worries to a time when they are more pressing and urgent, so how about I do that for now and enjoy of my parent's support for a little bit longer? (Applications are going out as we speak and I hope the next blog post will include some exciting emails from potential employers???) 

I will continue to contemplate what my goals are, and if there are opportunities to succeed for a girl (me) that is starting from scratch and has no substantial economic safety net to fall on.  While I do that, I'll keep peering on the lucky one's brownstone hoping that they'll invite me in for tea.